User: asexuality (posted by starrave) Date: 2009-11-16 03:12 Subject: A great post I found. Security: Public Location: United States, , Mood: sleepy Music: Skybox

It's possible that some of you may have seen this before, but I'd like to share it anyway. I'm sure it will be new to someone.

http://oak.cats.ohiou.edu/~lb122098/fourthsexuality.html

Reading this made me feel lots better. It's EXACTLY how I feel, other than the kids bit. I do want a child someday.

And I'm wondering, do any of you think sex could be compared to a drug? Certainly it's a natural function, but I think it's grossly overused.

User: tekken_yaoi (posted by millionminds) Date: 2009-11-15 14:48 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public Mood: anxious Music: The Perfect Drug - Nine Inch Nails

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User: asexuality (posted by lycstrider) Date: 2009-11-15 03:17 Subject: Lost Loves. Security: Public

was wondering if anyone has been here too. Feeling really depressed right now. can't sleep and can feel certain genetic issues creeping up.


Ok, I dated a girl for 4 years, she left me for one of my friends and its been 5 years since.

I still have times where I want to break down and cry.

Shes the only person Ive ever wanted to have intercourse with. and trust me I have had offers but the answers in my head have gone from when I was younger of Why to now Eww NO.

Im 30 a virgin. looking at being alone for the rest of my life. and the only person I was willing to meet part way gave her virginity to an A**hole and I would still take her back. I am more screwed up than I thought or Is this somewhat normal for our kind. sorry. for dumping on here. Ive ben a lurking on this group for a long time.

The oher thing is that a lot of women have gone out of there way to hurt me because I wouldn't have sex with them. and others have started to refere to me as the trophy

User: audiography (posted by grendelity) Date: 2009-11-13 14:07 Subject: Top 5 ATM Security: Public

And here we have a top 5! Just because it's been a while. Also, hey, to whomever keeps reporting my Box.net account for copyright infringement? STOPPIT. ಠ_ಠ

The National -- Slow Show : I have a huge amount of affection for Matt Berninger's vocals--they're so distinctive and lovely. This is one of those songs that sounds very sad, despite its incredibly hopeful lyrics. It's like a crooked little love song, because things are never perfect. // web site

Darren Hayes -- Darkness : When I was young, I was a huge Savage Garden fan and kind of lost interest after their split. So even though I am very fond of Darren Hayes' voice, I mostly stopped paying attention to him after Spin came out and it didn't impress me too much, and all the stuff I've run across from him is years old by the time I hear it. "Darkness" wasn't much of a success as a single when it came out, but it just gives me chills. Melancholy and accepting and surprisingly heartfelt. // web site

Helios -- Sons of Light and Darkness : I admit I ran across this when I was searching my music library for the Darren Hayes song, but it's so beautiful and different that I keep listening to it. Helios mostly does ambient music, and this is no exception, but it captures such a mood that I don't want to label it so simply. Piano and guitar and a gentle, wandering beat that makes me think of blue skies. // web site

La Roux -- Bulletproof : Oh god I don't know I just have this on repeat. It makes me dance like a total loon. // web site

Built to Spill -- Things Fall Apart : Built to Spill is a new discovery for me, and even though I heard "Life's a Dream" first, and loved it more than I ever would have expected on the first listen, "Things Fall Apart" is a real gem. At more than six minutes long, it's not exactly something to catch on the radio, but its sardonic lyrics wormed their way into my brain from the beginning. We've all seen enough, now it's time to decide / The meekness of love or the power of pride / It doesn't matter if you're good or smart / God damn it, things fall apart // web site

User: tekken_yaoi (posted by crazy_bunny14) Date: 2009-11-12 03:05 Subject: I posted a fic! Security: Public Mood: optimistic Tags: baek x hwoarang

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User: asexuality (posted by ambling_paradox) Date: 2009-11-09 20:10 Subject: Romantic Attraction. Security: Public

Hey, everyone.

I guess this is sort of a follow-up post to eyespurgedblind's previous entry. The feelings expressed there were something that I could empathize with. I've identified as asexual since high school, which is about for six years now I think. And since then, I've never really understood what other asexuals mean by "romantic attraction." I really don't consider myself "aromantic" or "romantic" just because I don't know what either of those terms means. I'd like to see how people define it individually for themselves, because it has baffled me for some time now.

Thanks!

User: asexuality (posted by jerico_cacaw) Date: 2009-11-08 19:34 Subject: An interesting article about asexuality Security: Public

Are there asexuals among us? On the possibility of a "fourth" sexual orientation

But actually, some scientists believe that there may be a fourth sexual orientation in our species, one characterized by the absence of desire and no sexual interest in males or females, only a complete and lifelong lacuna of sexual attraction toward any human being (or non-human being). Such people are regarded as asexuals. Unlike bisexuals, who are attracted to both males and females, asexuals are equally indifferent to and uninterested in having sex with either gender. So imagine being a teenager waiting for your sexual identity to express itself, waiting patiently for some intoxicating bolus of lasciviousness to render you as dumbly carnal as your peers, and it just doesn’t happen. These individuals aren’t simply celibate, which is a lifestyle choice. Rather, sex to them is just so ... boring.

User: audiography (posted by moaningminnie) Date: 2009-11-08 14:13 Subject: A topic from a long time ago: Handclaps Security: Public Location: Home Music: Frightened Rabbit: Swim Until you can't see land

I remember many moons ago looking on this community and seeing a wonderful topic - Handclaps. It was this topic which introduced me to one of my all time favourite songs "Recovery" by New Buffalo, and I'd like to give something back to everyone on the same topic!

I recently heard this song by Just Jack from the album "All Night Cinema" (http://www.amazon.co.uk/All-Night-Cinema-Just-Jack/dp/B001Q8WLOS). Just Jack is an English guy, and has pretty much done all writing and production on this album. It's just great. About this song, Amazon says "Lead-off single “Embers” proves that some pretty moving productions are within his grasp, an emotive production of dancing violins, hand-claps, and harmonies that overlay in beautiful patterns"

This is a wonderful description, and for me the handclaps build the song up into something awesome. Let me know if the link dies and I'll re-upload. And let me know if you like! (:

http://rapidshare.com/files/304080203/Embers.mp3.html (not sure if this is working correctly - if not try: http://www.box.net/shared/kpg7l8aesg)

User: asexuality (posted by swankivy) Date: 2009-11-07 20:32 Subject: Ignorance Security: Public Mood: thoughtful

As many of you know, I do asexuality awareness videos on YouTube (channel swankivy). Not too long ago I posted a video in association with a person who contacted me wanting to spread the word about an online petition designed to get people to support the addition of "asexual" and "pansexual" to the "sexual orientation" options for social networking sites. Increase of legitimacy, yo.

The other day some jerk posted this comment on my petition video:

"there's no such thing as asexuality. asexuality is just an excuse to give someone, who has become too afraid to admit their sexual attraction, confidence. it's so much easier to answer 'i'm asexual,' than to be judged for a sexual attraction to something socially abnormal."

My response was this:

"Wow, good job! Did you come up with this yourself, or did you take troll lessons? That's so special! ^__^ "

I think there was a time when I would have taken great care to explain to this person what an ignorant statement that was and try to set him/her straight on the issues. But this smelled so stupid to me--was so blatantly reeking with DELIBERATE INSENSITIVITY and SELF-INFLICTED TUNNEL VISION--that I just plain could not believe someone would say it for real. After all, I go out of my way to make the information available, and I explain in this video (as well as several others) what asexuality is. It was appalling to me that someone really could watch it and come up with "What? There isn't a such thing. You're probably just afraid to admit you're attracted to little boys, dogs, or members of your own sex."

I think I've reached a point in my awareness attempts where I'm resigned that some people don't WANT to understand, and that I can't make them. You know what they say . . . you can lead a horse to water. . . .

This isn't to say I feel defeated or despondent about it. Far from it. I think it's pretty special that I've played the part I have . . . that I have over 300 subscribers on my channel who apparently want to regularly hear some girl talk about NOT sex on the Internet . . . that I got to be one of the voices on an asexuality-related feature-length documentary on the movement . . . that I get thank-yous and supportive comments every single day. But I think I've just discovered there is a point after which I'm wasting my breath and keystrokes. Some of these people WANT to watch me melt down and get frustrated at their lack of understanding. Some of them just get pleasure out of trying to make me feel I am making no difference at all.

I think their worst punishment is having to be themselves.

User: asexuality (posted by elusive_dreamer) Date: 2009-11-06 18:10 Subject: Pressure on an Asexual in a Modern Society Security: Public Mood: contemplative

Hello. I'm honestly think this is my first post. I'm a 25-year-old virgin whose never really actively sought out a boyfriend, nor do I feel like I really need one. I guess it helps that I'm sort of an big introvert and have really low testosterone. Not to be tmi, but all of my female friends masterbate and the like, and find it weird that I don't really care about my body in that way. I'm much more interested in finding someone that's sort of a friend but with snuggling benefits? I know that sounds cheesy, but that's the closest I can describe it. I wouldn't mind being monogamous with another individual, boy or girl, as long as I can get close to them, and we have a lot in common. I mean in the way of always knowing I can come home to someone, and that they won't dedicate their attention to another. Nothing of it really has to do with sex, of course. It's an emotional bond. I'm sure this would be the definition of a soul mate.

Granted I'm not saying I could never have sex, it's just on the list of priorites and importance of relationships, it's at the bottom of my list, easily. I'm much more stimulated in the way of mental and emotional connection. I'm an artist, so when I really get into it, there's my masterbation and eventual climax towards the piece's completion lol. Any other asexual artists else feel this way?

Recently I admit, I've been going through an identity crises the past two years or so, and letting other people influence me. I thought it was just me 'growing up' but it was more of a sort of supression.. Amist that I felt like I needed a boyfriend, and needed to be more social in order to create normalcy for myself, because I wasn't feeling much of anything else, and hell, everyone else was doing it. My art was suffering during this time, too.

I eventually got accepted into a private art institute, and I actually had problems producing genuine art, even if it's for the classroom, I still get a lot out of it, and want it to express who I am. I found myself stumbling in the place that I've always wanted to be. Gradually though, like someone recovering from any other trauma, I'm regaining myself, and my art. There was a point where I was actually trying to 'sexualize' myself, and it only left me feeling empty. I wouldn't take back the experience, because I learned from it, but it's been a difficult time of confusion. Recently I know that I'm getting back on track, because a friend I meant recently said "Are you asexual? You don't seem like a very sexual creature". And somehow that put my mind at ease. I always want to leave my options open, but I think I could only do something with another person if I was genuinely in love.

Anyone have similar stories of confusion, or openness?

User: tekken_yaoi (posted by crazy_bunny14) Date: 2009-10-06 00:49 Subject: Tekken Fever Security: Public Mood: mischievous Music: Calling You by Blue October

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User: bb_shousetsu (posted by petronia) Date: 2009-11-05 16:44 Subject: Prospective participants list for Bang*Bang no.22 Security: Public Tags: signup

This is the signup post for the December 29** regular issue. The submission cutoff date is December 18. Please comment here if you plan to submit a story for December, or if you'd like to illustrate. Illustrators should provide a link to their art by way of sample. Signup for the beta reader pool will be in an upcoming post.

As always, the December issue of Bang*Bang has NO SET THEME, but feel free to write holiday-themed stories if that speaks to you. Also, expend some NaNoWriMo wordcount on those WIPs left over from previous issues and send them in. XD

( usual links )

( prospective participants )

( illustrators )


** Although if you're very good one might try to hurry that up to give you guys an extra refuge from the family over the holidays. Don't tell them I said that. XD

User: tekken_yaoi (posted by blue_moons169) Date: 2009-11-03 15:40 Subject: TEKKEN 6 Security: Public Mood: chipper Music: Who are You - Bruno Mars

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User: asexuality (posted by cb4260) Date: 2009-11-02 20:11 Subject: Do you feel asexuals are part of the LGBT community or not really? Security: Public Mood: curious

Question for all of you: As asexuals, do you feel part of the LGBT community? Do other people see you as part of the LGBT community? If so, do you wish they didn't? If not, do you wish they did? A little context: I think of myself as bi-asexual, but offline, people read me differently. The people who think I'm straight figure that if you're not interested in sleeping with women, you must be straight. Period. The people who think I'm gay know that I'm somewhat aesthetically attracted to women, and think sexual orientation is all in the mind, is therefore not defined by whether you have a significant other or not, so they conclude I must be lesbian, or at least bi. Part of me wishes that asexuality would be considered part of the LGBT label/community, because I feel asexuals have a lot of the same issues that queer people do (having to figure out out their own identity, coming out, etc), and because I doubt the asexual community would even have come up with the label 'asexual' or thought of ourselves as a 'community' if it hadn't been for the gay rights movement. On the other hand, many non-asexual gay people I know don't see asexuality as part of the LGBT community at all. They're very positive and accepting of asexual people, they just can't imagine not wanting to have sex, and see asexuality as a drastically different phenomenon from homosexuality. Similarly, I know some straight-asexuals who (although supportive of gay rights both in their politics and in their personal values) don't want to be considered part of the gay community because they're only attracted to opposite-gender people, and/or (espeically if they live in very conservative states) don't want to experience the discrimination that gays in their area face, or feel that they'll be more effective 'allies' to the gay community if others see them as straight. I'd love to hear from both gay/bi-asexuals and straight-asexuals on this.